Of Walls and Mountains

There is a mountain of regret on my shoulders

And a snake on guilt coiling on my chest

There is this wall between us

A wall of our egos and I don’t know what

A wall that we built over the years

Unconsciously

When you couldn’t show affection even you wanted to

And when I failed to care even though I wanted to

We are standing on the opposite sides of the wall

You on your end

And me on mine

Desperately waiting for the other to make a move

And shatter it

There are futile attempts to call each other

But the wall is so high

The voices are drowned in the bricks and stones

I know you want to reach out

I want that too

I know you want to break this wall

Once and for all

And run to me

I want that too

But I know you will never do it

You would never make the first move

It will have to be me

There is no other way

But I can’t do this anymore

I am tired of the games

The mountain of regret is crushing me

The snake of guilt is biting me

I know I need a hurricane of will power

And a truckload of patience

How do I swallow my ego?

How do I bend and give in?

I know all the answers

Love

That is all I need

But how I do I allow love to make its way to my soul

And soften my heart which is cold as a marble slab?

For it is just me who can do it

At the end of the day

I will have to find the will

Or else keep standing by the wall

Shouting out into the void